Cats Have Mind Control – The Salmon Test

The Salmon Test Part One

The Salmon Test
Salmon Test… Cat Mind Control

We believe that Cats have MIND CONTROL over people. That’s right, your favorite kitty is controlling your brain somehow. So to find out we’ve developed the Salmon test.

Salmon Test Cat mind control Instructions part one…

Be prepared spend 5 minutes to do the Salmon test. Please completely ignore that fact that it says Salmon on the Cat’s forehead. We are advising you so you can avoid the subliminal suggestions of the word Salmon or suggesting that you might like Salmon. Just to be sure we don’t reinforce the word Salmon or that perhaps you may find Salmon absolutely delicious through any subliminal means. Just to be sure, we have acknowledged that we have been very blatant about mentioning Salmon a couple of times and that we might mention that you may find it wonderfully delicious when served with mashed potatoes and peas… and maybe the addition of some lemon with a sprig of parsley.

  1. Carefully stare into the cat’s eyes above without blinking (if the cooking Salmon burns while you are doing this, you may need to blink… that’s ok)
  2. With a soft low repeating chant say Sahhh Monnn, Sahhh Monnn, Sahhh Monnn… keep doing this for the next 2 hours and 5 minutes.
  3. When you are finished, thank the Cat above for the Salmon test (it’s ok, we know it may not acknowledge)
  4. Now go about your business without thinking of Salmon or Cats that have the power of mind control over you.
  5. After a week, please return to and fill out our survey on the Cat Mind Control Salmon Test part one.

Disclaimer: Don’t do this test if you have allergies to Salmon, don’t like Salmon or feel intimidated by Cats or large fish that taste good. Don’t do this test if you have a weak mind especially when it involves food and Salmon.